From the Mouths of Babes
by Eydie Munroe
Summary: A late-night chat with Voyager's youngest crewman makes Kathryn reevaluate things. Written for VAMB's 2015 Secret Santa Challenge.


**From the Mouths of Babes  
by Eydie Munroe**

 _Disclaimer: Yes, they belong to CBS. Am I happy about it? Not so much._

 _Author Note: Written for VAMB's 2015 Secret Santa Challenge. The request from Cheile? "A Naomi and KJ friendship story onboard ship. Naomi bringing up an optional discussion about J/C welcome, especially if Chak somehow overhears said discussion ;)". Thanks to Hester as always for her brilliant beta work. Enjoy!_

* * *

"Naomi, are you listening to me?"

The young girl looked up from the spot she'd been mindlessly staring at in the corner. "What?"

"I asked you if you were listening."

Caught daydreaming, Naomi desperately tried to come up with an answer. After a few moments of racking her brain, she tried, "Clean up my room?"

Samantha Wildman sighed as she reached over, gently placing the back of her hand against her daughter's forehead. "Are you feeling okay, honey?" Detecting no fever, her hand dropped to Naomi's shoulder. "Everything alright?"

Looking up at her mother, Naomi told her, "Yeah, I guess. I just wanted to play with Seven, but she said she was too busy."

"Well, she's a very busy person some days." Samantha crouched down beside her. "She'll let you know when she's available again." Seeing that Naomi wasn't going to agree any time soon, her mother brushed her hair back from her face and said, "It's time for bed, sweetheart."

Nodding sullenly, the little girl got up and headed into her bedroom to get ready, leaving her concerned mother behind.

* * *

Kathryn couldn't sleep, not that insomnia was anything new. Things were relatively quiet after what seemed to be an unending period of crises, and while she was always happy for an uneventful stretch of space, it was a double-edged sword. Abundance of physical activity and distraction always kept her demons at bay, but when they were absent, the monster of guilt that dogged her would attack in full force. For once though, tonight it wasn't guilt that had her in its clutches – it was loneliness.

Performing Tom and B'Elanna's wedding a few months earlier seemed to have lit the fuse on desires that she had dutifully been ignoring for years now. And while she was more than happy to see the two of them making a go of things, she was ruthless with herself for letting her mind wander back onto the subject of her own happiness. Then, just when she thought she had regained her balance, she found herself in a different life on Quarra.

Thinking back to the time she'd spent with Jaffen, her heart sank yet again. It had been so wonderful to be free, to only have to worry about her job by day and her boyfriend at night, a relationship that she'd fallen into within a matter of hours. Once her memories had been returned, she'd been horrified to discover that the real Kathryn Janeway didn't jump into bed with just anyone, but yet she'd ended up in his almost from the start. She'd really loved him, and hurt like hell to leave him behind; what was making it even more difficult was that her body and her mind were still in the throes of loss, and it was messing with her head. She was fighting to regain emotional control, when all she really wanted was for someone to love her.

She had tossed and turned for more than two hours now, her anxiety not abated in the least. Finally, with her for-once early night shot to hell, Kathryn jumped out of bed in frustration and threw on some clothes. Her route through the ship unintentionally took her to the holodecks, and since simple walking didn't seem to be helping, she thought maybe a different activity would. Tapping the panel between the doors, she saw that both were engaged. What caught her eye was that one of the programs being run was a Flotter story, and she highly doubted that any adult on Voyager would be running it this late. "Computer, who is in Holodeck Two?"

 _"Naomi Wildman."_

Kathryn frowned. It was almost midnight. Giving the panel a final touch, the doors opened, and she stepped into the colourful forest she remembered so fondly. The sound of chirping birds filled the air, and the sun was warm on her skin as it filtered through the leaves above. She walked amongst the trees for a few minutes, just taking it all in and flashing back to the adventures she'd taken here when she was a child. She also remembered how excited she would get because going to the public holodecks meant spending precious time with her father. Sadly, his memory was always tinged now because of that horrid alien who had impersonated him, and she did her best to shake it off and hold tight to the man that she knew had been real.

Walking further along, she realized that neither Flotter nor Trevis had come to greet her, which was certainly unusual. Finally, coming around a bend in the path, she spotted Naomi sitting on a platform that had been built on a thick branch about halfway up one of the old growth trees. She was facing away from Kathryn, leaning heavily against the trunk. Not wanting to startle her, the captain took a wide arc around, then only called out to her when she knew the young girl had seen her. "Naomi?"

While she hadn't been scared at being found, Naomi instantly became nervous in that same way she always was on meeting Voyager's commanding officer. "Captain!" she squawked, glancing around as she wasn't sure she could move without falling off.

Kathryn Janeway bit down on her tongue to hide her smile. "At ease, Miss Wildman." Coming to stand underneath her, Kathryn's hands naturally planted on her hips as she looked up. "What are you doing here at this time of night? Shouldn't you be in bed?"

The child's eyes fell to her shoes. "Yeah."

Hearing her lackluster tone, Kathryn softened her approach. "So why are you here?"

"I couldn't sleep."

Naomi looked as though she was on the verge of tears. Glancing down at the base of the trunk, Kathryn could see the small notches that had been carved into it for climbing. She moved behind the platform, then quickly climbed up and joined the youngster, similarly dangling her legs over the edge to sit beside her. Naomi gawked at her, her eyes wide. "You can climb trees?"

Kathryn gave her a big grin. "Of course I can." Seeing that her humour wasn't shifting the girl's mood at all, she asked, "Isn't your mother going to be worried if she wakes up and finds you're not in bed?"

"I guess."

* * *

Chakotay entered the turbolift, the padd in his hand gently bumping against his cheek as he used the back of his wrist to hide a massive yawn. He'd been so caught up in reviewing the latest crew evaluations that he'd completely lost track of time, and only a few minutes ago realized how late it was. He knew that the captain was eager for his summary, and since she was a well-known night owl, he decided that he would personally deliver his report before turning in. As the lift patiently waited, he called out, "Computer, locate Captain Janeway."

 _"Captain Janeway is in Holodeck Two."_

His eyebrows lifted. _That's an odd place for this time of night._ When Kathryn was having trouble sleeping, she usually would do a walking tour of the ship – it was rare that she would indulge in the holodeck at any time, never mind in the middle of the night. Then again, it had been a while since they'd spent any time together; other than to get her back up to speed after her memories were restored, she'd sequestered herself away in her spare time. Though he was pretty sure that any 'spare' time she might have was spent working rather than sleeping or relaxing.

Deciding that perhaps she needed to be nudged socially, he ordered the lift to head for the holodecks. But he doubted himself when he arrived at the doors, thinking that she might be doing something personal. When he saw what was running, however, he was even more confused. Deciding that breaching her privacy was worth the risk, he headed inside, quickly finding the pair sitting in the tree. As their words filtered down to him, he realized that it was an important conversation, and he stayed a discreet distance away so as to not interrupt.

* * *

Kathryn shifted slightly, resting the heels of her hands on the platform as she settled in next to Naomi. "So...how are you?" she asked, hoping her approach wouldn't be so motherly that it put the girl on the defensive.

Naomi took a deep breath, then quietly said, "I miss Mezoti."

The captain suppressed a sigh. She'd known that this would be an issue for Naomi at some point, but since the younger Wildman had imprinted on Seven so heavily after the other children were adopted by the Wysanti, she hadn't really given it a lot of thought. "And playing with the adults just isn't the same, is it?"

"No. Seven's fun and all, but sometimes she just doesn't understand. And she's always busy." Naomi flopped against the tree trunk. "Everybody is."

Kathryn rested a hand on her back. "I'm sorry they couldn't stay, but Azan and Rebi need to be with their own people. Just like you belong here with your mother and us."

"But Mezoti is Norcadian," Naomi pointed out. "Doesn't that mean she should be with Norcadians?"

Thinking for a moment about how to respond, Kathryn told her, "Ideally, yes, but we're far beyond their space, and it would take more than a year to go back there. But even if we were able to, her parents are gone, so she was in a unique situation. She wanted to stay with the Wysanti, and they will take care of her, just as they will the others." She saw that Naomi was listening, but that it wasn't the answer she was looking for. So she hugged the girl to her side. "It's never easy to lose someone you care about, is it?"

Naomi crossed her arms over her chest. "I don't like it."

"Neither do I."

The captain's assistant looked up at her in surprise. "Who did you lose?"

Kathryn's heart fluttered in her chest, her most recent loss jumping to the forefront again. "Lots of people…" she said softly. "My father, my fiancés, friends…" Then she shook her head, and drew a deep breath as she squeezed her protégé a little tighter. "There's lots of people who will come and go from your life, and it does hurt. But it also makes the time you do get to spend with them all the more important." She smiled. "And a lot more fun."

Naomi seemed to consider this for a few moments. Then she asked, "Do you get to have fun, Captain?"

The captain's smile faded. "Not as much as I'd like to."

"Who do you play with?"

"Me?"

"Sure. Everybody plays. Who do you play with?"

Kathryn blanched slightly at the question. "Well…sometimes I play Velocity with Seven or B'Elanna. But I really don't have a lot of time to play."

Naomi was quiet for a few moments before concluding, "That's sad."

Just that statement made Kathryn once again realize how she longed for a much simpler life. "Yeah, it is."

They lapsed into silence for a while. Then Naomi suggested, "Maybe you and Commander Chakotay could play together sometime."

In his hiding place, Chakotay had to stifle the urge to laugh, lest it give himself away. Leave it to Naomi to make such a complicated thing so simple. He thought that maybe he should leave, but curiosity got the better of him, so he waited to see what the captain's response was.

On the platform, Kathryn pulled her legs up so she could sit cross-legged. "Well, Chakotay is also very busy, Naomi. It doesn't leave a lot of time for us to play together." Then deciding to divert the youngster before she could go too far into an area that was best left alone, she said, "But you're right – maybe I do need more time to play. Tell you what…how about you and I spend some time together next week, hmm? We could play kadis-kot, or maybe come back to the holodeck…"

"Ooh! Can you teach me to place Velocity?" Naomi begged, leaping up on her knees.

"Hold on!" Kathryn grabbed her by the arms to keep her from tumbling over the edge in her excitement. "You're too young to be playing Velocity just yet." Seeing excitement turning to disappointment, she quickly added, "When your mom says that you're ready, then I'll teach you, okay?"

Naomi's eyes lit up again. "Okay."

Kathryn grinned. "Good. Now, I think we'd better get you back to your quarters. It's long past bedtime for both of us." She got up and crawled back to the side of the platform where the notches were, then started to descend to the ground, with Naomi just a few steps above her.

They walked back to the arch, and she called for the computer to end the program, leaving just the grey and silver grid behind. The captain was surprised to find her first officer out in the corridor, looking like he had just been about to leave. "Commander?"

He whirled to face them, looking a little flushed. "Captain." Looking down at Kathryn's companion, he said, "Hello Naomi. What are you doing out of bed?"

"She and I were just having a talk," Kathryn said as she turned and knelt down beside the child. "Now, off to bed with you. I'll talk to your mother tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay." Naomi impulsively threw her arms around the captain, hugging her as tightly as she could. "Night!"

"Goodnight."

"Night, Naomi," Chakotay called as Voyager's youngest resident disappeared around the corner. Then, seeing that Kathryn was still down on the deck, he offered her a hand.

"Thanks." She let him help her to her feet "What can I do for you?" she asked, straightening her tunic as she started to walk down the corridor.

"I…uh…the crew evaluation summary is ready," he said, joining her as he held out the padd for her to take. "I didn't want you to have to wait for it."

She took it from him, glancing at the initial page as they approached the nearest turbolift. "You didn't have to do that."

"I know you wanted to see it," he told her, reaching over to press the button for the lift.

Kathryn realized that she had been bugging him for it, mostly so it would add to her pile of things to distract herself from her current troubles. "I appreciate you getting it done so quickly," she said as they stepped into the lift. "Thank you."

He could see that she was fatigued, and that her previous levity with Naomi had quickly faded away. "You alright?" he asked.

"Fine." She realized she'd said it a bit too quickly, and she took a deep breath to centre herself. "I'm alright," she assured him, resting her free hand on his arm. "Just…trying to keep busy, that's all."

It didn't take a full explanation for him to understand. It had only been a few weeks since they'd left Quarra, and he'd seen the woman she'd been there in all her glory. His heart clenched – he hated to see her unhappy. "Want to talk about it?"

She shook her head, but patted his arm. "Thanks, but really, I'm okay." The lift stopped on Deck 3, and they quickly made their way to their quarters. Hers came up first, and so she bid him goodnight before stepping inside.

As she set the padd down, Kathryn's mind started to wander back to her conversation with Naomi. She'd always known that this job had taken over her life, but to actually admit it out loud made it all too real. In a way, she wondered if she took things too seriously now, using that responsibility to keep herself from getting hurt. Caring less about the crew was not an option, of course, but she wondered whether or not things would change before the woman she used to be disappeared forever.

The door chime sounded before she fell too deep into her thoughts, so she turned to face it. "Come in." She frowned when she saw Chakotay come in, wearing an odd expression. "Something else you need, Commander?"

"I do have one question I forgot to ask you."

When he didn't elaborate, she folded her arms over her chest. "And what's that?"

"Can Kathryn come out and play?"

If she had still been holding the padd, it would have dropped to the floor. "What?"

He broke into a grin as he took a few steps toward her. "Can Kathryn come out and play?"

She could feel the heat of a blush instantly crawl up her cheeks. When she'd found him outside the holodeck doors, she'd never considered that he'd been inside at all. "You _heard_ _that_?"

He nodded. "I didn't mean to. I'd gone into the holodeck to give you my report, but then I heard you and Naomi talking, and I didn't want to interrupt. It sounded pretty important."

Thinking back, she agreed, "It was."

"She was right about something though." Chakotay now stood in front of her, placing his hands on her upper arms. "Kathryn, you don't have to live that way. Not when there's people here who love you."

Part of her wanted to protest, to deny whatever he was thinking, but she realized that it was useless. Then his last words broke through to her conscious mind. "Wait – what?"

Now smiling broadly, he pressed on with, "And you know, I'm more than willing to make the time to play, Kathryn."

Her brain kicking in again, she countered, "I don't think that's the sort of play Naomi had in mind."

He chuckled, his head shaking a little. But then he got serious. "I mean it. I know you're hurting right now, and that you prefer to deal with it by shutting yourself away. But I'm here, and I just want you to be happy."

She looked at him as his words sank in, and he could see that her eyes were a little misty. In a voice filled with emotion, she asked, "You really do, don't you?"

"Of course," he replied with a gentle smile. Seeing that tears were starting to show, Chakotay pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her and holding her.

Tucked against his chest, her eyes shut tightly as she reveled in his warmth. She detested the idea of having to lean on someone, but the years of trying to carry the emotional weight on her own were overwhelming, and part of her had simply had enough. So Kathryn decided to stay there, for as long as he would let her, and just be herself.

His unconscious rocking, and the hand that stroked over her back, started to lull her to sleep. So when he felt her body relax, Chakotay gave it a few moments longer before he gave her a small squeeze, and then loosened his hold when she pulled back enough to look up at him. "You okay?"

Now it was her turn to smile. "I will be."

When she rested her hand over his heart, he decided to take a chance, and leaned down to quickly brush her lips with his. To his surprise, she didn't stiffen or pull away, and he found her gazing back at him with eyes that were now clear and sparkling. Her grin grew even wider, and the hand on his chest moved up to cradle his jaw. They stayed that way for a few moments, until he gently pulled her hand down and knitted his fingers with hers. "I should let you get some sleep," he said, barely above a whisper. "Call me if you need me, okay?"

"I will." He lifted her hand and kissed the back of it, then let go and walked over to the door, stopping when she called, "Chakotay?" When he turned back to her, she ventured, "Maybe, after shift tomorrow, we could play Velocity?"

The idea that she might stop secluding herself made his entire face light up. "I would love that."

"See you tomorrow."

He left with a nod, and Kathryn stood there looking at the closed doors, still warm and settled from being held by him. His kindness would make her next steps in this new life easier than any before, and she looked forward to spending more time with him, and with the others in order to help balance the captain she already was. As she returned to bed, she made a mental note to schedule that playtime with Naomi, and to tell Samantha what a wonderful young woman she was raising. And also, to maybe go easy on her for sneaking out…just this one time.


End file.
